RIP Uncle Peter

My Uncle Peter died just before Christmas.  He was in the hospital and we knew he was on his last days, but it still was hard to hear. I flew home and spoke at his funeral.  Here is my tribute to a man I loved!



    I want to remember and honor Uncle Peter today!  He was a man I loved, respected and held in great esteem.  In Ecclesiastes it says there is a time for everything under the sun.  I think that if anyone looks over a lifetime, even me at my life so far, we  can see how there are seasons in our lives.
     My memories of Uncle Peter start as a child.  A season of joy, for Uncle Peter had his love, his Emily.  They were a beautiful couple, their house filled with love.  I remember I felt comfortable with them, that is saying a lot because as a kid I was shy.  I remember corresponding by letter with them.  It made me feel very special to write and for them to write me.  I remember going to visit them and getting really cool movie posters, I think Uncle Peter designed them, and it just made me feel special to get those posters. 
  Uncle Peter was a very creative man, he loved woodworking and he loved his gardening, but most of all he loved his Emily.  I remember when Aunt Emily fell ill.  A season of mourning  for Uncle Peter.  I remember being at the hospital with my parents and Uncle Peter.  I remember the last breath and the anguish that washed over Uncle Peter.  Now that I'm married I look back and see his strength and endurance through the pain and loss.  I know he struggled after he lost his love, his heart broken but he kept on. 
     Uncle Peter kept himself busy with his woodworking and gardening after that.  He was still in a season of mourning but also a season of change was on him.  He moved to Peterborough where he had family and friends close by.  I know mom and dad grew very close to him over the years.  I remember Uncle Peters smile and laugh and the fun we had at Helen's in Bancroft.  I remember him showing me Emily's garden, he was so proud and rightly so it was beautiful.  I think the flowers in that garden flourished because they were nurtured in that love for his Emily.  My husband and I were blessed by the beauty of his love, the beauty of his garden.  We had our wedding pictures there and I will forever remember my Uncle Peter when I look at those pictures of our love captured in a garden created out of love for his Emily.
     Many in this room loved Uncle Peter. He will always hold a special place in my heart.  He always had a smile and a hug for me and showed me respect and I respected him greatly.  Uncle Peter wasn't a faultless man. he was a man who faced the seasons of life and worked to change the things he could and to come to peace with the things he couldn't. 

Christmas

We had a very quiet Christmas.  We did it early since my husband was  working over Christmas day.  Don't worry Santa worked with us and showed up early for the kids.  The kids got a ds and a game for Christmas,and Santa brought what they asked for a holiday barbie for big girl and a remote control helicopter for big boy.  They loved their stoking loot too.  Ethan loved his star trek lego watch. Baby boy loves his Eeyore, his chewy toy and his cookie monster toy. 

Thanksgiving=surprise visit from my parents

My parents pulled a fast one on us.  They had told us they planned to come for Christmas then showed up at my in-laws as a surprise Thanksgiving. Well of course they just couldn't wait to meet their news grandchild.  After we got over the shock it was a nice visit.  Dinner at my in-laws where my parents stayed.  Wow I sure lucked out there, great in laws.  We had lots of time with them at our house too.  Dad made tatty scones, and it was sure nice having an extra set of hands in the kitchen.  Hope you enjoyed some of our photos of the happenings.

Yeah for Grandma's and Great Grandma's

Great Grandma came to visit in August.  Aunt Sharon and Jill brought her up.   It is too bad that I didn't get any pictures of them, it was so good visiting with them too.  Grandma stayed up for a couple weeks and we certainly enjoyed our visits with her.  My baby got lots of cuddles with his great grandma and had many a conversations with her!  My kids loved the cream ca ca (unsure of spelling) that great Grandma made. 

 Grandparents are such blessings. It was nice to have her over to our house for a visit.

 Grandma giving my youngest some cuddles and pats.  He was out for the count!  We are so blessed to live in the same city as my husbands parents.  They were such a big help when I had to go have Miles early.  They took the other kids and left me with a peace about them being taken care of. I am tearing up here remembering those days.  And when we got back from Edmonton and the NICU grandma would drop in and fold some laundry and help me around the house. 

Such a beautiful lady I am blessed to call mother-in-law! And my youngest in his glory on Grandma's lap. 

I certainly miss my parents and Nana and am sad that the kids don't get to grow up with them like they do Grandma and Grandpa.  We are looking forward to them coming up for Christmas. 

Life oh life

I haven't blogged in a while, I guess three kids keep my busy enough.  The weather is cooling off and I feel the chill of winter fast approaching.  I actually dread the winter up here since it gets very very cold.  I am vowing this year that when the weather is actually nice like -10 that I will take the kids for walks and play outside more this year.  

But lets not talk about that yet.  The leaves are turning color and falling and it is beautiful outside.  We just had a family photo shoot with my sister in law.  She had a great location for us and I am so excited to see the results of some fun poses.  

We have been having issues with our computers lately.  My husband is a bit of a computer nerd so if he can't figure it out it is major.   

Baby has a cold right now and I feel so bad for him.  He coughs coughs then says arg (my interpretation).  He is just over four months and growing so well.  He has some really big mitts. I think he is going to be big like daddy.  My big boy is in grade one and I am already stressing over the peer influences.  He is a sweet boy but very active  and I'm fearful his energy could be refocused into negative behavior if encouraged.  I do like his teacher she is so sweet and very easy going lady.  My daughter is in preschool and I already like how it is helping her be a better listener and cleaner upper.  She really seems to be growing up too fast.  She says she likes fashion...lol.  She loves dresses and getting her hair done.

I don't have any pictures because as I said the usual computers are sent away getting fixed. 

I am loving these cuddley days with my baby and remembering to soon it will be gone.  What do you love these days?  

Love family visits

Here are some pictures of my sister and nephews visit. I really wish my brother in law Wayne could of came too. We missed him.

When I found out I was pregnant I called and asked my sister to come help out after the baby came. She said she would and I was so excited to have her come. She had never been to my house, or been to visit me since I moved away from Ontario 11 years ago. I have been back to my hometown to visit them but there was something so special about having them come here!

I enjoyed spending time with my nephews. We took them to the discovery center to learn about the oilsands, and to the beach to swim and play in the sand (even if it was windy and cold, welcome to the north). We spent time just hanging out and watching cartoons, and going to the skate park/playground. I know my daughter sure loved her Auntie spending time with her and doing her hair so pretty, and my son thought his big cousins were so cool. Him and Josh played lego lots.

My sister was an amazing help with everything!!!! I so appreciated her being here. I enjoyed our time together too. I love my sister and nephews and wished we were closer. I am sort of planning a big visit next summer.... hopefully.

There are moments...

Sitting here, in a quiet moment thinking about the last couple of months. Wow, things have been crazy. I was perusing pictures on my husband's iphone and was actually shocked at how sick I looked post op (c-section). All the pains of yesterday are often forgotten quickly in the moments of everyday life. My baby was very little and sick. How did I ever make it through those moments.

I look and marvel at my precious baby boy. I kiss him and tell him I love him. Things of life can turn upside down in a moment without notice. I just can't begin to think of all the instances I have experienced that in my life and the lives of those around me. When I was young I remember the neighbour boy who was just going to the store for his parents. He choose to go look at the river and foolishly in a moment of error fell threw the ice and drowned. Or Jen sweet Jen who was like a sister to me, a nice neighbor. Who because of a moment of forgetfulness didn't put on her seat belt, and got into a car with a guy who drove drunk and the car crashed and in that moment a sweet friend, sister, daughter was killed. So many wrong chooses that in a moment end life. Rob in highschool who just couldn't deal with life choose to shoot himself in the head. My friend Jared who in a moment of chance the rope he was trying to tow a car with came flying at him when it snapped with such force in that moment killed him. My uncle, oh how I loved him, his great big bear hugs, how he could make me smile, such a sweet sweet soul. He got depressed and the chemical imbalance that the medication created caused him in a moment to choose to kill himself. I could go on but I will stop there as examples of how life in a moment can change.

This to say why be bitter and live in the hurts of yesterday. We need to live for today, we need to forgive, and move on. The moments we have in our lives, with those we love and some of them being the ones needing forgiving, can be fleeting. There are moments to choose how we will live. I choose to live in freedom! I choose to live in these moments not reliving the pains of yesterday but being thankful ohhh so thankful for these moments I have today. I choose life, to live in joy and in the moment.

My baby is 2 months old... where is the summer going?

Wow I can't believe that my baby is already 2 months old. It seems just like yesterday that I was being medi-vaked to Edmonton. He is such a strong little solder, dealing with so much. He has recently been diagnosed with reflux. He will scream in pain and is inconsolable. We have started him on some medication and it seems to be helping a little in the way that he can be calmed easier now. The pediatrician said it would take up to 2weeks to fully help. He is growing and growing! His big brother and sister love him so much they are always kissing his little head. My little Miss has taken to singing the baby his song skinamarinki dinki dink I love you whenever he cries.

Some days I feel like I take it all in step, then others I feel like I might go crazy. My husband's encouragement of Oh honey you did it with the other two you will make it through this one... ohhhh thanks. How about you empty the dishwasher, do a load of laundry, or put away your own dishes. I shouldn't complain he really is a good dad. We just had a mini vacation where he took the kids to a swimming pool, the movies, the Capital Ex, and a monster truck show.

I am feeling like summer is slipping away from us. June was lost in the nicu trauma. Then July was dealing learning to settle into life with three kids. The highlight was my sister and nephews coming to visit. I felt so taken care of by my big sis, and I loved hanging out with my nephews that I don't get to see enough ( like years between visiting them in Ontario). I plan to blog and post pictures on this. There is a family reunion on my husbands side next weekend I wish we could of gone to, but with a little baby it just won't work. Also, little baby boy has his circumcision this week, which stresses me out a bit. We are looking forward to some relatives coming to town for a visit this month. It will be great spending time with my husband's grandma and aunt and cousin. And I now this will make the weeks in August to fly by.

Now my son goes into grade one and my daughter into preschool so supplies must be bought and a couple new outfits too.

This is our summer, our life right now.

A baby boy was born

May 30: I had to be medivacked to Edmonton because the ob here was concerned with my blood work, and that baby may have to come early. The med interns did not seemed to concerned with me since my blood pressure was a little high but nothing dangerous. They were talking about how I would probably be observed than released... hmmm what the??? Then late that night they came back in and said that my blood work came back and it was worse then earlier. They were doing a c-section and taking baby out. I was so taken aback but still rolling with the punches. The doctor came and she said we were having a c-section to take baby out that their was far to great of a danger of me having a stroke, or seizure. I was put on magnesium sulphate which is horrible stuff. I was going with things and the nurses on labor and delivery floor were amazing. Then when I was in the or and being given a spinal it all HIT me. When my husband got in I told him I was so scared and he told me baby was going to be fine... but he wasn't. He cried as soon as he was out but as a mother I knew his cry didn't sound right. The peds specialist assessed him and had left only to be called back minutes later and baby was rushed off to the NICU. His breathing was so labored his little chest was sucking in so far, and he was grunting. He looked so big and healthy, he was 6lbs 15oz 5weeks early. He had to be given oxygen and was put on cpac, then was xrayed and found to have a phnemothorax and was put on pressurized oxygen tent. That was when I got to see him a day later. I wasn't allowed to leave the floor because I passed out in the shower and was still on a high amount of magnesium phosphate. I learned from the nurses that I had hellp syndrome, and I had guessed as much that I had preeclampsia. I really felt like the medical doctors did not explain what was going on with me.
This amazing above picture was taken by my sister in law Sharolyn. She captured some great shots for me. He looked so helpless and fragile. I felt so guilty that I couldn't keep him in until he was ready to be outside. His sad little face those first week broke my heart and wished I could take away all his pain. He wasn't strong enough to nurse and I wasn't able to pump enough for him and so he had to have some supplementing of formula. He seemed to be getting bigger and stronger and was bottle feeding well and practicing on mommy. Then he had blood in his poop. He was taken off of feeding and was put on antibiotics. He had what a lot of preemies get when they start eating, nec. Poor little guy. The doctors figure it was from the formula. Hmmm something else for me to feel guilty about, that I couldn't produce enough food for my baby. This happened the same weekend I had to be readmitted because I had post par tum preeclampsia. Well, the nurses and doctor caught the nec early and within 4 days baby was able to start back on some oral feedings of expressed breast milk, then he was allowed to nurse and he caught on within 2days. It made me so happy since I was so worried he wouldn't be able to nurse. He got better and better, then the Sunday we got a setback with his breathing being irregular. It turned out that he was okay and that a nurse and her nursing student where being a little zealous by giving him oxygen. The doctor said that sometimes healthy mature (he was 37weeks/full term) babies like sick babies. There was a sick baby with a contagious staph infection right beside him and I was stressed he was going to catch it, but the tests came back normal and we were able to take him "home" finally on Tuesday three weeks after being born.
He is nursing like a pro and is sleeping and acting very much like a normal baby now!!!!

Gestational diabetes

High blood pressure with traces of protein in my urine. Headaches and vision disturbances and just feeling horrible. Baby seems to be doing okay in spite of my horrible habitat for him. I mean really my body is not a great thing in pregnancy. Oh yeah throwing up off and on for the last 81/2 months. Being exhausted because of the diclectin I take to prevent the upchucks, and my low iron. These are things I have to deal with now for the last month I have been told, rather late, that I have gestational diabetes. ugggg

So since it was late being diagnosed there is a concern for baby's health. He is big already, I know this because I measure at 34 weeks to be the size of 37 week pregnant woman. Also there is a concern about his lungs developing correctly. I will have an ultrasound to check on the little guy, and if there are concerns I will have to have an amniocentesis to check him. Yeah that is a giant needle that goes in my stomach and into my baby. I am on the verge of crying just typing that, it totally freaks me out. So, I have given a blood glucose monitoring machine and have to test my blood first thing in the morning and 2hours after meals. I have to food journal and what my carbohydrates intake. I think I will miss juice the most. I only have a week to get my levels good or I have to do insulin. I mean really can things get anymore stressful for me this last month. Yes yes it can. My husband is having health issues too. That is another blog.

Praying God's peace finds a home in my soul, because these days I can break into tears at any moment.




My newest toy which I hate